This story is a bit old, but how do you like this guy?
updated 1:09 p.m. HT, Wed., Sept. 17, 2008
KNOXVILLE, Tenn. - It wasn't the preferred way to enter the Knoxville Museum of Art, but Richard Anthony Smith told police he was on a mission. The 25-year-old Knoxville man called 911 from his cell phone before dawn Wednesday saying he was trapped in an air conditioning duct leading from the museum roof, Knoxville police spokesman Darrell DeBusk said.
Police and firefighters reached the roof, found a rope and cable and followed them to a vent shaft. Peering inside, they spotted Smith about 45 feet down.
"Mission failed," he told them.
Hoisted up and read his rights, Smith told police he was a "special agent from the United States Illuminati, badge number 0931" and had rappelled onto the museum from a helicopter, a police report said.
He said he was following orders to "defuse and confiscate" a Soviet-made nuclear warhead, specifically a "MERV6SS-22AN" warhead, according to the report. The bomb supposedly was hidden in a blue, plastic cow sculpture in the museum basement, he said.
However, Smith told officers his "agency" called while he was in air-vent limbo to say it made a mistake and the bomb might be in a Memphis museum instead.
Police charged Smith with aggravated robbery. He was being held on $2,000 bond at the Knox County Jail. Authorities said he did not have a lawyer.
"Fortunately he was able to reach his cell phone," DeBusk said, "or he may not have been found for quite some time."
Stuck ‘special agent’ tells cops of secret mission
Stuck ‘special agent’ tells cops of secret mission
They say that in the Army,
the women are mighty fine.
They look like Phyllis Diller,
and walk like Frankenstein.
the women are mighty fine.
They look like Phyllis Diller,
and walk like Frankenstein.
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Tsukiyumi
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Re: Stuck ‘special agent’ tells cops of secret mission
There is only one way of avoiding the war – that is the overthrow of this society. However, as we are too weak for this task, the war is inevitable. -L. Trotsky, 1939
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Lt. Staplic
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Re: Stuck ‘special agent’ tells cops of secret mission
that's...different.
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
Re: Stuck ‘special agent’ tells cops of secret mission
At least he was origianal 
They say that in the Army,
the women are mighty fine.
They look like Phyllis Diller,
and walk like Frankenstein.
the women are mighty fine.
They look like Phyllis Diller,
and walk like Frankenstein.
Re: Stuck ‘special agent’ tells cops of secret mission
Whats really sad is he may actually believe what he was saying.
No trees were killed in transmission of this message. However, some electrons were mildly inconvenienced.
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Teaos
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Re: Stuck ‘special agent’ tells cops of secret mission
Trust me, that excuse almost never works.
What does defeat mean to you?
Nothing it will never come. Death before defeat. I don’t bend or break. I end, if I meet a foe capable of it. Victory is in forcing the opponent to back down. I do not. There is no defeat.
Nothing it will never come. Death before defeat. I don’t bend or break. I end, if I meet a foe capable of it. Victory is in forcing the opponent to back down. I do not. There is no defeat.
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Tsukiyumi
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Re: Stuck ‘special agent’ tells cops of secret mission
The really hilarious thing would be if he were telling the truth. 
There is only one way of avoiding the war – that is the overthrow of this society. However, as we are too weak for this task, the war is inevitable. -L. Trotsky, 1939
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Lt. Staplic
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Re: Stuck ‘special agent’ tells cops of secret mission
knowing our govenment, wouldn't supprise me.
They'd probably let him rot in jail too, just because he got caught.
They'd probably let him rot in jail too, just because he got caught.
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
Re: Stuck ‘special agent’ tells cops of secret mission
Oh they would, for sure. They are just that... is evil the right word. Maybe pathetic...
No trees were killed in transmission of this message. However, some electrons were mildly inconvenienced.
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Lt. Staplic
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Re: Stuck ‘special agent’ tells cops of secret mission
i like "should-be-shot-in-the-head-bastards"
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
Re: Stuck ‘special agent’ tells cops of secret mission
Works for me.
No trees were killed in transmission of this message. However, some electrons were mildly inconvenienced.
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mwhittington
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Re: Stuck ‘special agent’ tells cops of secret mission
"MERV6SS-22AN" warhead, isn't that from True Lies with Arnold Schwartzeneggar? The terrorists told him to identify the warhead, and he was saying it was a coffee maker, or a food processor, or some stuff like that, then they smack him around, and he finally tells them.
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -Benjamin Franklin-
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Mikey
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Re: Stuck ‘special agent’ tells cops of secret mission
Did he really tell them he was from the Illuminati? That's rich.
I can't stand nothing dull
I got the high gloss luster
I'll massacre your ass as fast
as Bull offed Custer
I got the high gloss luster
I'll massacre your ass as fast
as Bull offed Custer
Re: Stuck ‘special agent’ tells cops of secret mission
Wish we could recruit him for the DITL
They say that in the Army,
the women are mighty fine.
They look like Phyllis Diller,
and walk like Frankenstein.
the women are mighty fine.
They look like Phyllis Diller,
and walk like Frankenstein.
-
Teaos
- 4 Star Admiral
- Posts: 15380
- Joined: Tue Jul 17, 2007 4:00 am
- Commendations: The Daystrom Award
- Location: Behind you!
Re: Stuck ‘special agent’ tells cops of secret mission
He's to sane for us.
What does defeat mean to you?
Nothing it will never come. Death before defeat. I don’t bend or break. I end, if I meet a foe capable of it. Victory is in forcing the opponent to back down. I do not. There is no defeat.
Nothing it will never come. Death before defeat. I don’t bend or break. I end, if I meet a foe capable of it. Victory is in forcing the opponent to back down. I do not. There is no defeat.