Sorry for the double, but I just realized that a modern M249 or MINIMI wouldn't meet Seafort's criteria as an LMG either, as they use intermediate rounds.

Which intermediate (aka "assault rifle") rounds had their origins in the 7.92 Kurz, BTW. As to the others:
Luger - fair alternative, but IIRC tended to be a little hit-or-miss on whether it would decide to go bang when the trigger was squeezed.
SMG - "gangster connection?" That era of the Thompson's rep was in the mid-to-late 20's and eary 30's... we're talking about WWII. The .45 ACP and the reliability factor made it preferable to the MP38/MP40 Schmeissers. The only advantage of the 38 and 40 over the Tommy was weight, and there were other SMG's lighter than the Tommy that beat the Schmeissers.
I agree with the rest, though I also think terrain (i.e., open country) could make the
panzerschreck preferable to the
panzerfaust on a case-by-case basis.