PETA's stupidest act yet

[Sionnach Glic]

This article was in a local newspaper, The Metro, this morning. I saved the paper because I thought you guys would get a laugh out of it (I sure did). The whole thing is just blatantly stupid, and the fact that the author's opinion of the thing is so obvious makes it even funnier.

Peta Stir Things Up With the Mama of All Games
By Ross McDonagh

It has taken on such giants as Ronald McDonald, Colonel Sanders and Burger King. Now Peta has turned its claws on Nintendo's adorable little culinary mascot - Cookin Mama.

Mama may only cook virtual meats in the popular DS game, but that hasn't saved her from the wrath of the People For The Ethical Treatment Of Animals.

Disgruntled at the amount of meat recipies in the hand-held cooking game, Peta designed its own version in protest called Mama Kills Animals, which can be played at www.peta.org/cooking-mama.

Unlike the official version, in which the titular cute cartoon cook takes you through a cheery series of food-themed mini-games, the parody is a much more grim affair.

Players get to pluck the feathers out of a turkey's blood-dripping carcass, pull out its internal organs and sever its head with some sawing mouse motions. Not being one to waste, you must also chop up the neck for giblet gravy before fishing out all the feathers and various body parts that somehow found their way in there.

Even cracking the eggs seems to be a gore-filled task, as they are bizzarely filled with as much blood and feathers as albumen and yolk.

After each task, you are ranked as either Too Nice, Don't Be A Saint, or Meaner Than Mama by the manic, blood-spattered, knife-wielding Evil Mama.

Although the game aims to shock, the result is quite funny and rather enjoyable to play.

In fact, it only gets boring when Mama has a change of heart halfway through and encourages gamers to make a far less satisfying tofu turkey instead.

The original game's manufacturers Majestico pointed out that 25 of the recipies are vegetarian frinedly, and even issued a press release from Mama herself.

"I would never put a rat in my Ratatouille," said a feisty Mama while beating some eggs. "Like any accomplished cook, I create my recipies to appeal to a broad range of tastes and preferences. My only goal is to make sure you leave the table well fed."

Although Mama herself is not a vegetarian, she says she fully supports the humane treatement of animals, even allowing her canine protégé Max to help out in her latest game, World Kitchen.

[Mikey]

Leave it to PETA to have a protest piece turn people toward the cause they're fighting, rather than against it.

As to some of the things in the game:

pluck the feathers out of a turkey's blood-dripping carcass... sever its head with some sawing mouse motions.

Well, duh. You can't cook a turkey with the feathers and head still on.

pull out its internal organs... chop up the neck for giblet gravy

Well, of course. You need an empty cavity to stuff the bird, and why waste the organs? My wife would be VERY upset if she didn't get to eat the turkey heart every time we roast a bird. What they intend as a protest piece is really just an advice column on how to do it right.

Even cracking the eggs seems to be a gore-filled task, as they are bizzarely filled with as much blood and feathers as albumen and yolk.

Has anyone told PETA that the eggs produced for consumption are unfertilized?

[Mark]

[Sionnach Glic]

Has anyone told PETA that the eggs produced for consumption are unfertilized?

But...but....but...they're just like babies!

[Captain Seafort]

Has anyone told PETA that the eggs produced for consumption are unfertilized?

Never let the facts get in the way of moralistic screeching.

[Tsukiyumi]

Has anyone told PETA that the eggs produced for consumption are unfertilized?

But...but....but...they're just like babies!

What, they're delicious when smothered with cheese and mushrooms?

[RK_Striker_JK_5]

Yeah... that's pretty much all that needs to be said.

[Mikey]

Has anyone told PETA that the eggs produced for consumption are unfertilized?

But...but....but...they're just like babies!

What, they're delicious when smothered with cheese and mushrooms?

Um, were you referring to the eggs, or the babies?

[Tsukiyumi]

Well, the babies of course.

[Mikey]

Well, the babies of course.

Oh, good. 'Cause eggs are bad for you.

[Tsukiyumi]

Well, the babies of course.

Oh, good. 'Cause eggs are bad for you.

Indeed. Babies are much lower in cholesterol.

[Mark]

But when you feed on plantlife aren't you feeding on death as well?

[Tsukiyumi]

But when you feed on plantlife aren't you feeding on death as well?

I've often wanted to argue the point with a PETA member: How do you know plants don't feel pain? I mean, what is their rule, anyways? It's okay to kill something and eat it as long as it doesn't have a face?

We have to kill to live. Simple biological fact.

[Mark]

I wonder how they'd react to that argument.................

[Tsukiyumi]

I wonder how they'd react to that argument.................

Probably with a lot of indignant stammering, and poorly thought-out counter-arguments.