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I Am Spartacus wrote:Oh no, I know you did not just insult Beerlao, hands down the best beer in the world. Anyone insulting Beerlao has either never tried it, or needs to check if there are any psychiatric inpatient facilities in his hometown.

European style pale lagers just aren't my thing. I've actually never had Beerlao, but based on what I've read, it's not that much different from any other Asian-produced lager, or any other pale lager for that matter. Samuel Smith's Organic Lager is probably my favorite of that type, that I've had. Heineken by far my least favorite =)

Granted, but your country just converted to the Euro and nickles are useless now.

I wish every day was christmas day.

Granted, now you have to spend tens of thousands of pounds every year on gifts for people, rendering you poor.

I wish I was a better bowler.

Granted but you die in a ball-waxer accident that leaves you mangled, but with an incredibly shiny exposed skull.

I wish I didn't have to work tonight.

Granted, you've been fired after being caught stealing computers from your workplace. Criminal charges are pending.

I wish summers would last all year round, as Canadian winters blow.

Granted. All year long you have to endure scorching 100+ degree F weather.


I wish it was significantly cooler.

Granted, but you are now frozen in a block of ice to be excavated along side the Borg in "Regeneration" and are now part of a horrible farce.

I wish I could find a Freddie Mercury costume in America.

Granted, but the moment you put it on, it spontaneously combusts, scarring you for life.

I wish I could get my book published.

Granted. Your book is published, but it doesn't sell and no other publisher will want to publish your future works. (I wished the same thing with a similar response)

I wish I could read as fast as Data.

No worries, this is all about fun. I suppose I should get around to posting some excerpts in the Writing forum...

Granted, but you can only read John Vornholt Trek Books (THE HORROR)

I wish I could steadily fire a .45 as well as I can a .22 or 9mm.

Granted, but the first round you fire off ricochets into your arse. You'll live, but you'll hate explaining the giant arse-cast to your co-workers.


I wish someone would throw George Bush in prison.

Granted, but they put Clinton back in charge.

I wish people had not ditched me tonight to go drinking.

Granted, but you have to distract the "ugly friend" while your friends are all making time with the cute chicks, and then you later have to drive them home and clean them up.

I wish my mortgage was paid in full.

Granted, but your house was destroyed by a rogue comet just after the last payment was made, and your insurance doesn't cover comets.

I wish the world's oceans were made of liquor.