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Re: The Joke Thread
Posted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 8:45 pm
by Mark
You guys are killing my latest joke. You know that, right
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Re: The Joke Thread
Posted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 9:03 pm
by Mikey
Yes. Yes, we do.
Re: The Joke Thread
Posted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 9:19 pm
by Nickswitz
Jehovah's Witnesses believe in resurrection to earth, except for 144000 who will rule in heaven with God and Jesus.
If i missed anything, stitch will probably tell you once he comes on
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Re: The Joke Thread
Posted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 10:02 pm
by Lt. Staplic
Mikey tell me if I'm wrong but I thought Jew's had a heaven, just not a hell in the christian sence.
That depending on how you lived your life determined how close in heaven you were to God.
Re: The Joke Thread
Posted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 10:47 pm
by Mikey
After the Roman occupation, Judaism did evolve into a messianic religion. But as far as I've been taught, the closest thing to a Christian afterlife we have is Olam Ha-Ba - "the world to come." Supposedly the ru'ach - "spirit, breath, animus" - returns to G-d, from whom it came initially. No mention of any kind of existence as we'd conceive of it after death, though.
Re: The Joke Thread
Posted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 11:10 pm
by Tsukiyumi
Mikey wrote:...Supposedly the ru'ach - "spirit, breath, animus" - returns to G-d, from whom it came initially. No mention of any kind of existence as we'd conceive of it after death, though.
Apparently, I'm Jewish. Who knew?
Re: The Joke Thread
Posted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 11:22 pm
by Mark
How did you get the news broken to you?
Re: The Joke Thread
Posted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 11:41 pm
by Tsukiyumi
Just now. That's pretty much what I believe, especially this bit:
Mikey wrote:...No mention of any kind of existence as we'd conceive of it after death, though.
Re: The Joke Thread
Posted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 11:44 pm
by Lt. Staplic
well, just because you believe in the bit about the happenings of death doesn't mean you support the faith
Re: The Joke Thread
Posted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 11:48 pm
by Tsukiyumi
Lt. Staplic wrote:well, just because you believe in the bit about the happenings of death doesn't mean you support the faith
Yeah, I know. I guess I should've used an emoticon to indicate the sarcasm.
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Re: The Joke Thread
Posted: Fri Dec 19, 2008 11:59 pm
by Lt. Staplic
maybe I should have too
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Re: The Joke Thread
Posted: Sat Dec 20, 2008 2:28 am
by Mikey
Besides, depending on the practices of the hospital where you were born, there's a much easier way to tell.
Re: The Joke Thread
Posted: Sat Dec 20, 2008 2:37 am
by Tsukiyumi
Mikey wrote:Besides, depending on the practices of the hospital where you were born, there's a much easier way to tell.
Yeah, you guys don't... *ahem* "clip the tip", until way later on, right? I'm not a fan of that concept.
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Re: The Joke Thread
Posted: Sat Dec 20, 2008 6:28 am
by Lt. Staplic
OW!
did not know that, and am now suppressing that memory.
Re: The Joke Thread
Posted: Mon Dec 22, 2008 2:28 pm
by Mikey
Tsukiyumi wrote:Mikey wrote:Besides, depending on the practices of the hospital where you were born, there's a much easier way to tell.
Yeah, you guys don't... *ahem* "clip the tip", until way later on, right? I'm not a fan of that concept.
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8 days, is all.
Anyway, a Xmas joke:
How the angel got atop the tree.
One year, some time ago, Santa Claus was having a hell of a time. The elves were unionizing, and making outrageous healthcare demands. There was an epidemic of hoof-and-mouth among the reindeer. The naughty-and-nice list was burned under "mysterious circumstances," and Mrs. Claus was rumored to have been spending a lot of time with the Easter Bunny. Working late in his office one night, trying to piece Christmas back together, he was interrupted by a knock on the door. Exasperated, he screamed, "What?! What do you want, dammit?"
The door opened, and an angel came in dragging a tree. "I got your Christmas tree, Santa. Where do you want me to stick it?"