The Joke Thread

[Mark]

You guys are killing my latest joke. You know that, right

[Mikey]

Yes. Yes, we do.

[Nickswitz]

Jehovah's Witnesses believe in resurrection to earth, except for 144000 who will rule in heaven with God and Jesus.
If i missed anything, stitch will probably tell you once he comes on

[Lt. Staplic]

Mikey tell me if I'm wrong but I thought Jew's had a heaven, just not a hell in the christian sence.

That depending on how you lived your life determined how close in heaven you were to God.

[Mikey]

After the Roman occupation, Judaism did evolve into a messianic religion. But as far as I've been taught, the closest thing to a Christian afterlife we have is Olam Ha-Ba - "the world to come." Supposedly the ru'ach - "spirit, breath, animus" - returns to G-d, from whom it came initially. No mention of any kind of existence as we'd conceive of it after death, though.

[Tsukiyumi]

...Supposedly the ru'ach - "spirit, breath, animus" - returns to G-d, from whom it came initially. No mention of any kind of existence as we'd conceive of it after death, though.

Apparently, I'm Jewish. Who knew?

[Mark]

How did you get the news broken to you?

[Tsukiyumi]

Just now. That's pretty much what I believe, especially this bit:

...No mention of any kind of existence as we'd conceive of it after death, though.

[Lt. Staplic]

well, just because you believe in the bit about the happenings of death doesn't mean you support the faith

[Tsukiyumi]

well, just because you believe in the bit about the happenings of death doesn't mean you support the faith

Yeah, I know. I guess I should've used an emoticon to indicate the sarcasm.

[Lt. Staplic]

maybe I should have too

[Mikey]

Besides, depending on the practices of the hospital where you were born, there's a much easier way to tell.

[Tsukiyumi]

Besides, depending on the practices of the hospital where you were born, there's a much easier way to tell.

Yeah, you guys don't... *ahem* "clip the tip", until way later on, right? I'm not a fan of that concept.

[Lt. Staplic]

OW!

did not know that, and am now suppressing that memory.

[Mikey]

Besides, depending on the practices of the hospital where you were born, there's a much easier way to tell.

Yeah, you guys don't... *ahem* "clip the tip", until way later on, right? I'm not a fan of that concept.

8 days, is all.

Anyway, a Xmas joke: How the angel got atop the tree.

One year, some time ago, Santa Claus was having a hell of a time. The elves were unionizing, and making outrageous healthcare demands. There was an epidemic of hoof-and-mouth among the reindeer. The naughty-and-nice list was burned under "mysterious circumstances," and Mrs. Claus was rumored to have been spending a lot of time with the Easter Bunny. Working late in his office one night, trying to piece Christmas back together, he was interrupted by a knock on the door. Exasperated, he screamed, "What?! What do you want, dammit?"

The door opened, and an angel came in dragging a tree. "I got your Christmas tree, Santa. Where do you want me to stick it?"