What's the latest in people's lives?

[Reliant121]

You have to be 18 to have a full current account, even a joint one. I'm going to a sorta 16+ young persons that would get automatically converted either to a student account when I go to Uni, or a full current account if I went straight into employment.

[Mikey]

That seems to be a strange regulation. If you are over the age of majority and have enough dough to open a depository account, why would you need a co-signer at all? I thought the whole point (aside from loan applications, of course) was to allow for minors to open accounts. At least, that's the idea on this side of the pond.

[Reliant121]

You can open a certain type of account. Its still a junior account until 18, just you get added benefits once 16. Namely a debit card. With my current under 18 account, you have a cash card.

[shran]

Just spent 5 days in Berlin eating nothing but fastfood... good times.

If you're in Germany anyway, try the Turkish kitchen. Döner macht schöner.

[RK_Striker_JK_5]

I was feeling under the weather yesterday, now I'm not. This is around the time of year I usually get sick, so I was almost glad to get it over with. Now...

[shran]

I was feeling under the weather yesterday, now I'm not. This is around the time of year I usually get sick, so I was almost glad to get it over with. Now...

Funny you mention it. My main activity for last night was hugging the toilet. So yeah, I'm down too.

[Mark]

Had a talk with my mom early saturday morning. She's still in the rehabilitation hospital, from where she's begging and pleading for me to get her released. Come to find out two of my sisters signed her out (the docs say she can't live alone) and said they'd live with her, then just took her home. Each accident is getting worse. This time she broke her jaw and hit her head hard enough to cause minor bleeding on the brain.

I've heard every medical reason for the problems, from fluctuating blood pressure to stage one dementia to seizures, and so forth. But the ultimate reason came to light.

My mother is an addict just like me.

She's taking handfulls of loratab, oxy's, xanex, and other crap I've never even heard of, getting all fucked up, and falling down getting hurt. I'm in a really bad place right now. I feel guilty as hell that I work with addicts all the time, and help them, but can't help my own mom. My sisters want me to move back to Vegas and move in with mom to take care of her, and regulate her meds. I love mom, but that would effectively put my life on hold.

Lord, I can't think about anything else, and I'm losing interest in nearly everything. I stayed in bed all day Sunday not doing anything but staring at the TV. Hell, I almost didn't come into work.

My sponsor is out of the country so he's not here for me, thus I turn to you guys.

Help.

[Mikey]

Wow.

#1 - You can't blame yourself for nat addressing a problem that you didn't know about. I understand you feel like you should be able to help her if yo canhelp strangers... but those are strangers that come for help. Not knowing isn't your fault.

#2 - What your sisters say or want is worth exactly one skinny rat's ass. They forebore their right to say anything to you about the matter when they signed your mother out and took her home against medical advice. They have no right to act out of convenience for themselves rather than your mom's best interests, then tell you that you need to give up your life for her... especially when they are already local.

#3 - Tell one (or both) of them to get off their asses and get your mom into inpatient rehab. That way she's getting the help she needs, along with constant medical observation during the process, and your sisters don't have to do anything more than get her there.

[Tsukiyumi]

Yeah, I agree with Mikey on this one on all counts.

Sorry to hear about it, Mark. My mom was an alcoholic, so I know how tough it can be to deal with.

[RK_Striker_JK_5]

Mikey's pretty much got it, Mark. I hope you can help her, but if not, we know you did your best.

[kostmayer]

Yeah, I agree with Mikey on this one on all counts.

Sorry to hear about it, Mark. My mom was an alcoholic, so I know how tough it can be to deal with.

Mine too. We did all we could but she didn't wanna be helped in the end. I quit drinking myself a couple of years after.

[Mark]

Thanks guys. It's rough....mom is 74 and she insists she doesn't need anything but to go home and live her last few years like she wants. Of course, like any addict she swears she's done with the pills (yeah, right), because she hasn't had any since she went into the hospital.

Guess what happened to the pills............

Sister number 3 told me that sisters number 2 and 4 (I have four older sisters), took all her pills and sold them.

Sister number 1 said she's (mom) getting evicted from her apartment if I can't pay the rent.

And now mom is threatening suicide if I don't get her released.

Remind me again why I got sober???????????????

[Mikey]

Sister number 1 said she's (mom) getting evicted from her apartment if I can't pay the rent.

My emphasis. Are your sisters somehow not related to your mother as much as you are?

[Mark]

They've got sob stories

Sister one is pretty broke. She supports her ex husband who had a motorcycle accident (he's got heavy brain damage) and her 32 year old addict son.

Sister two can't hold a job, and is supported by her husband. She has two son's that are both addicts. One's on probation and one is in rehab.

Sister three simply said "no. She doesn't love mom that much."

Sister four is all fucked up on dope. (yet another addict....surprise, surprise)

So, they've all decided that I'm the "best equipped" to move back to Vegas and take care of her. Of course, nobody listens when I tell them you can't "take care" of an addict. What am I gonna do, ration her meds?

[BigJKU316]

My dad suffers from depression that has cost him a few jobs over the years. It is not addiction but it is stressful for the family. When it happened recently we were having our first kid and were well settled where we live, a few hours from the parents, and could not be around to help with the basics and at the time had no spare money to help with things.

I found my peace by doing this.

1. Offer the best help you can without just putting your life on hold. That is not fair and no one can reasonably expect you to do it. If that means the best offer you can make is to come home and spend a week and the odd weekend with her then so be it. If that means you offer to move her in with you (not advising just an example) then that is what you offer.

2. Then you let her and the sisters take it or leave it.

That is really all you can do. Offer to do what you can and leave the rest to them. In my situation I told my parents I would help them and what I could offer was that they could come live with us until they got back on their feet. They declined and while I was there to love them and try to help they knew that was what I was capable of doing and that it was a standing offer. It let me sleep a bit at night which was in the end the most important thing personally as I was at peace with what I could do.