The Joke Thread

Lazar
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by Lazar »

A man walks up to a New Zealand shepherd who's tending to one of his flock. The man asks, "Are you shearing her?" The shepherd responds, "I don't sheer her wuth innybody!"
"There was also a large horse in the room, taking up most of it."
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by Mikey »

:kiwi:
I can't stand nothing dull
I got the high gloss luster
I'll massacre your ass as fast
as Bull offed Custer
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by Lt. Staplic »

:|
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by Mikey »

Lt. Staplic wrote::|
It's a kiwi... New Zealanders are called "kiwis" because kiwis are native only to New Zealand...
I can't stand nothing dull
I got the high gloss luster
I'll massacre your ass as fast
as Bull offed Custer
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by Lt. Staplic »

I was always under the impression kiwi's were fruit...that looks like some kind of cross between an early mammel and early bird.
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by Mark »

Was that a "Teaos" joke? :lol:
They say that in the Army,
the women are mighty fine.
They look like Phyllis Diller,
and walk like Frankenstein.
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by Tsukiyumi »

Lt. Staplic wrote:I was always under the impression kiwi's were fruit...that looks like some kind of cross between an early mammel and early bird.
Kiwi

It's also a fruit, yes. One of my favorites. :)
There is only one way of avoiding the war – that is the overthrow of this society. However, as we are too weak for this task, the war is inevitable. -L. Trotsky, 1939
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by mwhittington »

Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and George Washington are on a sinking ship. As the boat sinks, George Washington heroically shouts, "Save the women!" George W. Bush hysterically hollers, "Screw the women!" Bill Clinton's asks excitedly, "Do we have time?"
Last edited by mwhittington on Mon Feb 02, 2009 10:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by mwhittington »

Bill Clinton is packing things up in the Oval Office when he looks out of the window and sees the phrase "Bill Sucks!" written in urine on the Washington Monument. Furious, he assigns the Secret Service to conduct an investigation. After a few hours, one of the agents comes back. "I have some good news and some bad news, Mr. President. The good news is that the DNA test came back as Kenneth Starr." "Well," Bill asks, "what's the bad news?" The agent looks uneasy, and answers, "It's Hillary's handwriting."
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -Benjamin Franklin-
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by mwhittington »

Some people like to soak their cigars in rum. Still others like to soak them in whiskey. Bill Clinton liked to soak them "in cider".
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -Benjamin Franklin-
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by Tsukiyumi »

mwhittington wrote:Some people like to soak their cigars in rum. Still others like to soak them in whiskey. Bill Clinton liked to soak them "in cider".
http://instantrimshot.com/
There is only one way of avoiding the war – that is the overthrow of this society. However, as we are too weak for this task, the war is inevitable. -L. Trotsky, 1939
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by Mark »

Those are great
They say that in the Army,
the women are mighty fine.
They look like Phyllis Diller,
and walk like Frankenstein.
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by mwhittington »

Thank you, thank you! Hey, I just got promoted to Lt. Commander! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!! :rave: :partyparty: :dance: :party: :guitar: :DITL:
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -Benjamin Franklin-
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by Tsukiyumi »

mwhittington wrote:Thank you, thank you! Hey, I just got promoted to Lt. Commander! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!! :rave: :partyparty: :dance: :party: :guitar: :DITL:
Good deal! :)


Now, I'd like an onion bagel with cream cheese and lox. Anyone else want anything?
There is only one way of avoiding the war – that is the overthrow of this society. However, as we are too weak for this task, the war is inevitable. -L. Trotsky, 1939
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Re: The Joke Thread

Post by mwhittington »

Tsukiyumi wrote:
mwhittington wrote:Thank you, thank you! Hey, I just got promoted to Lt. Commander! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!!! :rave: :partyparty: :dance: :party: :guitar: :DITL:
Good deal! :)


Now, I'd like an onion bagel with cream cheese and lox. Anyone else want anything?
(Slices plain bagel, slaps on slab of onion with whipped cream, limburger cheese, and a padlock on top) Here ya go, Tsu! Anything else? :mrgreen:
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." -Benjamin Franklin-
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