The Joke Thread
-
Reliant121
- 3 Star Admiral
- Posts: 12263
- Joined: Thu Jul 26, 2007 5:00 pm
Re: The Joke Thread
Am i the only one that felt incredibly sorry for the blind child?
-
Mikey
- Fleet Admiral
- Posts: 35635
- Joined: Fri Jul 27, 2007 3:04 am
- Commendations: The Daystrom Award
- Location: down the shore, New Jersey, USA
- Contact:
Re: The Joke Thread
Probably not.
That reminds me of a less offensive blind joke:
A woman had just settled into her bath when she heard a knock at the door. Unable to find a robe or towel immediately, she called, "Who is it?"
"Blind man," came the response through the door. She figured it wouldn't matter if she was covered or not, so she got out of the tub and opened the door stark naked.
The man at the door ogled her for a moment, and then said, "OK, so which windows are these supposed to go in?"
That reminds me of a less offensive blind joke:
A woman had just settled into her bath when she heard a knock at the door. Unable to find a robe or towel immediately, she called, "Who is it?"
"Blind man," came the response through the door. She figured it wouldn't matter if she was covered or not, so she got out of the tub and opened the door stark naked.
The man at the door ogled her for a moment, and then said, "OK, so which windows are these supposed to go in?"
I can't stand nothing dull
I got the high gloss luster
I'll massacre your ass as fast
as Bull offed Custer
I got the high gloss luster
I'll massacre your ass as fast
as Bull offed Custer
-
Sionnach Glic
- 4 Star Admiral
- Posts: 26014
- Joined: Fri Jul 13, 2007 10:58 pm
- Location: Poblacht na hÉireann, Baile Átha Cliath
Re: The Joke Thread
Nice. 
Reliant: Given that the situation described never actually happened, I see nothing wrong with finding it amusing, albiet in a sick and twised way.
Reliant: Given that the situation described never actually happened, I see nothing wrong with finding it amusing, albiet in a sick and twised way.
"You've all been selected for this mission because you each have a special skill. Professor Hawking, John Leslie, Phil Neville, the Wu-Tang Clan, Usher, the Sugar Puffs Monster and Daniel Day-Lewis! Welcome to Operation MindFuck!"
-
Lt. Staplic
- 2 Star Admiral
- Posts: 8094
- Joined: Sat Sep 06, 2008 3:25 am
- Commendations: Cochrane Medal of Excellence
- Location: Somewhere Among the Stars
- Contact:
Re: The Joke Thread
I felt half-way sorry for the fake blind kid reliant, not bad enough to stop from laughing, but still...
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
-
Graham Kennedy
- Site Admin
- Posts: 11561
- Joined: Mon Jul 09, 2007 2:28 pm
- Location: Banbury, UK
- Contact:
Re: The Joke Thread
I giggle every time I think of that joke. I'm a bad, bad man. 
Give a man a fire, and you keep him warm for a day. SET a man on fire, and you will keep him warm for the rest of his life...
Re: The Joke Thread
We knew there as something we liked about you Graham 
They say that in the Army,
the women are mighty fine.
They look like Phyllis Diller,
and walk like Frankenstein.
the women are mighty fine.
They look like Phyllis Diller,
and walk like Frankenstein.
-
Reliant121
- 3 Star Admiral
- Posts: 12263
- Joined: Thu Jul 26, 2007 5:00 pm
Re: The Joke Thread
Oh don't worry, i've been told i'm far to sympathetic for my own good.
-
Tsukiyumi
- 4 Star Admiral
- Posts: 21747
- Joined: Fri Oct 12, 2007 2:38 pm
- Location: Forward Torpedo Tube Twenty. Help!
- Contact:
Re: The Joke Thread
There is only one way of avoiding the war – that is the overthrow of this society. However, as we are too weak for this task, the war is inevitable. -L. Trotsky, 1939
-
Lt. Staplic
- 2 Star Admiral
- Posts: 8094
- Joined: Sat Sep 06, 2008 3:25 am
- Commendations: Cochrane Medal of Excellence
- Location: Somewhere Among the Stars
- Contact:
Re: The Joke Thread
Horse walks into a bar, bartender asks why the long face.
Hamburger walks into a bar, bartender says, sorry, we don't serve food here.
Mushroom walks into a bar, bartender says, sorry, we don't serve food here, Mushroom says, that's okay, I'm a fun-gi.
Man walks into a bar, he woke up a week later.
Hamburger walks into a bar, bartender says, sorry, we don't serve food here.
Mushroom walks into a bar, bartender says, sorry, we don't serve food here, Mushroom says, that's okay, I'm a fun-gi.
Man walks into a bar, he woke up a week later.
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
-
Tsukiyumi
- 4 Star Admiral
- Posts: 21747
- Joined: Fri Oct 12, 2007 2:38 pm
- Location: Forward Torpedo Tube Twenty. Help!
- Contact:
Re: The Joke Thread
Two cannibals are eating a clown.
The first one turns to the other and says, " Does this taste funny to you?"
http://www.instantrimshot.com/
The first one turns to the other and says, " Does this taste funny to you?"
http://www.instantrimshot.com/
There is only one way of avoiding the war – that is the overthrow of this society. However, as we are too weak for this task, the war is inevitable. -L. Trotsky, 1939
-
Lt. Staplic
- 2 Star Admiral
- Posts: 8094
- Joined: Sat Sep 06, 2008 3:25 am
- Commendations: Cochrane Medal of Excellence
- Location: Somewhere Among the Stars
- Contact:
Re: The Joke Thread
why are dogs bad dancers?
they have two left feet.
they have two left feet.
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
Re: The Joke Thread
Excuse me fellas
Ok, all better now.
Ok, all better now.
They say that in the Army,
the women are mighty fine.
They look like Phyllis Diller,
and walk like Frankenstein.
the women are mighty fine.
They look like Phyllis Diller,
and walk like Frankenstein.
Re: The Joke Thread
A masochist goes up to a sadist and says, "Hurt me!"
The sadist says, "No."
The sadist says, "No."
"There was also a large horse in the room, taking up most of it."
-
Sonic Glitch
- Rear Admiral
- Posts: 6026
- Joined: Thu May 22, 2008 2:11 am
- Location: Any ol' place here on Earth or in space. You pick the century and I'll pick the spot
Re: The Joke Thread
I don't know if thats so much a joke as a matter of fact.Lazar wrote:A masochist goes up to a sadist and says, "Hurt me!"
The sadist says, "No."
"All this has happened before --"
"But it doesn't have to happen again. Not if we make up our minds to change. Take a different path. Right here, right now."
"But it doesn't have to happen again. Not if we make up our minds to change. Take a different path. Right here, right now."
Re: The Joke Thread
I know, that's what makes it so funny 
They say that in the Army,
the women are mighty fine.
They look like Phyllis Diller,
and walk like Frankenstein.
the women are mighty fine.
They look like Phyllis Diller,
and walk like Frankenstein.